Friday, January 30, 2009

We are made of plastic and third placeness.

The title to this blog refers to a line from a movie I made in my backyard today. You will have to wait to see it because it is taking forever to upload.

When I wasn't making films that are funny only to me, I was doodling and sketching.

The first sketch is called "photoshop piece of crap". A while ago I was having a conversation with Josh Holland and we came up with this idea for a "gallery show" of nothing but really bad photoshop work. Well here you go, Mosaic tiling, beveled text with an outer glow, and not one, but two lens flairs.

The second sketch is in reference to something my freshman year drawing teacher said to me. I was in drawing class a couple days after the freshman students had declared their majors and our teacher was asking each of us what we had chosen. Every time a student said illustration our teacher let out a grown as if he had just been kicked in the balls. Finally I asked what his deal was with illustration and he said, "Nothing. I hope you enjoy a career of drawing enlarged noses on ex presidents." For the record, this is the first enlarged nose president I have ever sketched.

Before you see the final sketch of the day, let me preface it by saying I have the utmost respect for Stephen Hawking. I tried to read A Brief History of Time and it was way over my head, so don't look at this as sketch ripping on the handicapped. The final sketch of the day is my idea of how Stephen Hawking would have looked if he was in the movie Eyes Wide Shut. If you have not seen the movie, there is a scene where Tom Cruise goes to a mansion and witnesses a secret orgy club. The thing is, everyone at this orgy mansion is dressed with a cloak and a mask to conceal their identity. Eventually it comes to the attention of the people that run this club that Tom Cruise is not a real member and they kick him out with a warning that if he tells anyone what he has seen there will be, "The most dire consequences." Someone spliced together some of these scenes minus the humping:
Later on it is explained to Cruise that the people that go to this orgy club are some of the most elite in the world and it would blow his mind of he knew what kind of people went. I thought to myself, "Stephen Hawking is one of the smartest guys in the world. That's pretty elite in my opinion." However, I don't think a cloak and a mask would be enough to hide his identity.


  1. haha. Which teacher said that? That guy who paints the triangles? I hear he was among the first.

  2. If you like things that make fun of super genius cripples you should check out the musical stylings of MC Hawking. Gansta rap straight outta MIT. Bitch.

  3. I am going to Hell for laughing so hard at that Stephen Hawking drawing.

  4. Brilliant. And, yes, which teacher was it that discouraged illustration?