Your tour ends here

He was the lead singer of Poison and he dates ladies like the one illustrated to the right. Bret Michaels is the luckiest man on the face of the earth? (note the question mark on the end of that sentence.)

I was hooked to Rock of Love season 2 and I am now hooked to the new season where Bret and the gals tour around on a bus while he tries to find his wife. I was not planning on watching this new season, but my sister dragged me into it and now I can not escape. ( On a side note, my sketch kind of resembles my sister. )

We are made of plastic and third placeness.

The title to this blog refers to a line from a movie I made in my backyard today. You will have to wait to see it because it is taking forever to upload.

When I wasn't making films that are funny only to me, I was doodling and sketching.

The first sketch is called "photoshop piece of crap". A while ago I was having a conversation with Josh Holland and we came up with this idea for a "gallery show" of nothing but really bad photoshop work. Well here you go, Mosaic tiling, beveled text with an outer glow, and not one, but two lens flairs.

The second sketch is in reference to something my freshman year drawing teacher said to me. I was in drawing class a couple days after the freshman students had declared their majors and our teacher was asking each of us what we had chosen. Every time a student said illustration our teacher let out a grown as if he had just been kicked in the balls. Finally I asked what his deal was with illustration and he said, "Nothing. I hope you enjoy a career of drawing enlarged noses on ex presidents." For the record, this is the first enlarged nose president I have ever sketched.

Before you see the final sketch of the day, let me preface it by saying I have the utmost respect for Stephen Hawking. I tried to read A Brief History of Time and it was way over my head, so don't look at this as sketch ripping on the handicapped. The final sketch of the day is my idea of how Stephen Hawking would have looked if he was in the movie Eyes Wide Shut. If you have not seen the movie, there is a scene where Tom Cruise goes to a mansion and witnesses a secret orgy club. The thing is, everyone at this orgy mansion is dressed with a cloak and a mask to conceal their identity. Eventually it comes to the attention of the people that run this club that Tom Cruise is not a real member and they kick him out with a warning that if he tells anyone what he has seen there will be, "The most dire consequences." Someone spliced together some of these scenes minus the humping: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNzuF33tZo
Later on it is explained to Cruise that the people that go to this orgy club are some of the most elite in the world and it would blow his mind of he knew what kind of people went. I thought to myself, "Stephen Hawking is one of the smartest guys in the world. That's pretty elite in my opinion." However, I don't think a cloak and a mask would be enough to hide his identity.

Heads

Here's a painting in a day.

Jimi Hendrix. I'm not really a huge fan of Jimi's material (something that seems to be a running theme with my sketches) although I really like the album Axis:Bold as Love. I grabbed some gouache and some black ink and started messing around with a piece of masonite board to see what I could get. So I guess this would be like a painting sketch. On a side note, I always thought it would be interesting to illustrate the lyrics to Spanish Castle Magic.

Leatherface

Sorry. I would have posted this yesterday, but my internet connection was affected by the snow. This is pretty much a brush and ink doodle with some quick colors thrown over it.... and a bad-ass lens flair (ooh la-la). Unlike the previous slasher characters I sketched, I really like Leatherface and the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The newer remakes or re-envisioning or whatever you want to call them are awful and they look like music videos for a band like Disturbed.

Demons Drink Mountain Dew

Whoops. I kind of lapsed on my sketch efforts this weekend.

Uncle Morrie!

Last week I finished up a freelance job where I was working 19 hour days behind my computer. (7 days of that.) There were three discs used for background noise on constant rotation in my DVD player, the album Binaural, the movie The Warriors and the movie Goodfellas. My favorite character from Goodfellas is Morrie played by Chuck Low, and no matter how busy I was I always stopped to watch the scenes in which he was performing. After repeat viewings (or listenings) I decided that Morrie should have his own Saturday morning kids show called UNCLE MORRIE!

Here's a video link to the opening credits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h73wQWc0eD8

Michael Myers Rip-Off

Once again I decided to sketch a horror icon that has never really interested me. I always thought the Jason character was a punk-ass rip-off version of Michael Myers, but that's just my opinion. I will say this though, as a child my family went to the video store a lot to rent movies and I always liked the artwork on the box covers to the Friday the 13th movies.

Whatever you do don't fall asleep.

I'll say right off the bat that I have only seen a few of the Nightmare on Elm Street flicks. I am not a die hard fan by any means, so please don't confuse this sketch as my appreciation for the series. I thought Freddy Krueger might be a fun character to sketch. Pen and ink on bristol board with blocked in colors courtesy of Photoshop.

Vampires = Lame

I prefer werewolves to vampires. Whenever I hear of vampires I always think of goofy goth kids or over-weight guys in their thirties that wear leather dusters and host seances in their moms basement. I also do not enjoy vampire flicks, including the Bela Lugosi Dracula. Look, I don't care about its cultural significance. To me, The Bela Lugosi Dracula is one of the most boring hour and fourteen minutes of film.

Werewolves.
Werewolves.
Werewolves.

First Post

Well here it is. The debut post. The Led Zeppelin I of posts. You know, not that great but maybe enticing enough to have people come back for a second one.

I'll say right off the bat that some of the stuff will probably be more thought out than others. I'm pretty sure that most of these sketches will resemble the kind of art that you would find scribbled in a 7th grader's notebook next to his information on Spain's quest for god, gold and glory in the colonies.

So here's a couple quick sketches...

The first is pretty self explanatory. A brush and ink angelic face with a butterfly at the end. "LA LA-LA LA" (That part should be sung in your head)

The second is my observation of pageant mothers. I am like a moth to the flame when it comes to documentaries about the lives of pageant kids, not so much for the pageant footage, but because of the parents and the future train wrecks they are raising. Most of the mothers in these documentaries are really harsh on their kids for messing up a dance move or getting a word wrong in their song. I guess what really irks me about that is the fact that most of these women probably couldn't dance for 30 seconds without being out of breath. Who are they to criticize their kid for dancing when they themselves can't do it? For the most part, pageant mothers all look and sound the same - busty Jabba the Hut style tan body - Too much make-up - peroxide burned hair - and a southern accent. The last one really gets me because words like win become weeen. For example, " I really think Tacoma can weeen this one if she tries. But we're having problems now because we lost our room key to the Ramada EEEn. " So yeah, there you have it.